i @m HaPpY !!!!

Each day I pretend I'm happy,

Like there's nothing wrong with me
My smile and laugh look flawless,
But this pain you wouldn't believe.

My bones ache from the pressure,
That I have put upon myself
To be something so plastic -
I just wish someone would help.

Can you forget my face,
Just erase me from your head
I don't want to disgrace you,
I would much rather be dead......

I am happy!!! I’m good man!!! I’m okay!!! Everything's good!!! There’s nothing wrong!!! I’m alright.....What can ever happen to me....

These are the so called 'STATEMENTS' people give, you give, I give many a times even though nothing’s alright, you are not happy, there’s nothing good going on, everything is wrong, life's worst than hell, the situation is out of control, you have no reason to even smile. But still you put on a brave face and a genuine smile (actually fake), showing nothing to the world, not a single tear, not even a single stress mark on their faces. It's actually hard to hide your feelings when you are in public, but the one's who still manage to go unnoticed are the masters of this art.

This happen infront of us daily with some or the other person. You don't bother about them, until it's your friend or classmate or colleague. As we usually are, you feel about it only when it gets personal, right ??? Even though you bother or atleast try to show that you do bother, you ask that person about it once or twice and then leave him on his own. Thats may be because you either actually don't care about that person or you think that you are not the person who should be dealing with it.

Lets take the case that you asked a couple of times and then left. You know that the person infront of you is in some trouble but you give up and leave. But have you ever wondered that why that person doesn't reveal anything about his trouble, emotions and not ready to confide to you ? Let me guess you never went that deep !!!! Lets be optimistic, you thought about it once and the immediate answer your head gives is " may be there is something he doesn't wanna tell and he'll get over it sooner or later ".

Now let me tell you about a specific group of people who don't show their feelings to anyone. These people are normal persons like you and me, the things that distinguishes them is their thinking. Whenever something bad happens they tend to go into a shell, blocking or atleast try to, anything they think can hurt their confidence, self respect, etc.  These people hold their emotions back, expressing nothing. They behave like 'REAL DUDES' from outside, the tough guys, who don't give a damn about the world and what people think. But actually they are weak inside (most of them). Some are really strong, but the thing wrong about them is that they think they don't need others, they can handle anything easily. This is where they go wrong. Now coming to the reasons they do it. They fear that if they reveal their problems, emotions to others, people might just make fun of it. They think it's better to keep it to themselves. They do want you to come and ask, but fear to speak out. They fear that their emotions may not get the respect they should get.

These people consider themselves alone, trusting hardly anyone. So guys n gals go grab buddies "WHO ARE HAPPY!!!" and assure them that you are always their for them. Gain their trust, but never break it. 

i W@lK aLonE....

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

and I'm the only one and I walk alone

                    

These lines from GREEN DAY inspire me to write this post. 


How many times in a day do you feel that you are alone ? 'Alone' here, doesn't mean that you are alone in a room or house. What I'm trying to ask is, how many times do you feel from inside, when a voice in you says that you have noone with you ? Even though you are standing in a crowd of thousands, you still feel alone. It happens atleast once a day with us, whether you agree with it or not, it's upto you. Let me tell you I get that feeling atleast 24 times in a day, once in every hour of the day. 


This feeling is there when you are away from home, away from your comfort zone, away from family. This feeling of being alone takes over you and your thinking methodology.  The feeling gains prominence when you are with a group of people and you are being ignored (knowingly or unknowingly) or when your existence is not considered. This feeling gets deeper inside as time passes, & finally you break out, not being able to bear it. These people get better slowly.


In some cases, people hold this feeling inside them and never tell anything about it. The worst thing about this feeling is,that it gives you a sinking kind of feeling. You start feeling weak from inside. You feel tired, disheartened and ya 'ALONE'. These kind of people move away from that group or situation silently or thinking that they will be fine but they suffer from this sinking feeling daily and it gets more intense. After moving away they suffer more by seeing those people again and again. They also have an emotional outburst (never in public). They try to work out of this by keeping themselves busy, occupied and do things that give them materialistic happiness and nothing more. But all the while they try to work it out, they get deeper into the feeling. They loose concentration over work. They hardly get a smile on their face (a smile that comes from inside). These people become the lonely walkers in life. I call them the 'CRUSADERS' of life. They are the one's who really "WALK ALONE". 


I humbly request to you all, that if you know any of the lonely walker, please get them back before they go missing. Most of these people are whom you failed to recognise.